Duck Dynasty Scion Sadie Roberston Praises HIM for Her Rumba

On Tuesday night, Sadie Robertson (of the Duck Dynasty Robertsons) performed a pretty impressive rumba on Dancing with the Stars. But first, she took some time to thank the man upstairs, posting on Instagram: "ALL glory to God for this amazing journey." That amazing journey being, of course, her participation in … » 10/22/14 1:50pm Yesterday 1:50pm

Target Frantically Debuts Free Shipping to Woo Holiday Shoppers

The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking. » 10/22/14 12:50pm Yesterday 12:50pm

Kirk Cameron Will Have You Know Halloween Is a Christian Holiday

Kirk Cameron recently popped by my favorite Internet publication, the Christian Post (it's like HuffPo mated with a church newsletter!), for a little chat about his upcoming motion picture release, Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas. And he had a message for you believers: Halloween is totally OK to celebrate, because… » 10/21/14 6:30pm Tuesday 6:30pm

New Yorkers Sick of Sarah Jessica Parker Turning Up at Their Door

My, my, it's the juiciest Manhattan property ownership kerfuffle since Vogue's Lauren Santo Domingo started digging a geothermal well under her Gramercy Park townhouse! Apparently, the owners of the West Village building used as Carrie Bradshaw's home in Sex and the City are livid over an illicit photo shoot for SJP's… » 10/21/14 12:40pm Tuesday 12:40pm

How Is Monaco Going to Handle the Succession of Twin Heirs?

Monaco's Princess Charlene and Prince Albert (son of Grace Kelly and Europe's most inexplicably boring aristocrat) are currently expecting twins. Which presents a potential headache for whoever's responsible for determining who inherits the throne of Monaco. If it's a girl followed by a boy, which one gets the job? » 10/20/14 3:40pm Monday 3:40pm

America Has Some Critical Questions About the Return of SURGE

Thanks to the endless wheedling of the Internet, SURGE, the disgusting beverage that fueled my high-school debate team's dumbest, most ridiculous antics, has been resurrected for sale exclusively on Amazon. And now a bunch of people are amusing themselves by posting absurd questions and even more ludicrous answers on… » 10/20/14 3:20pm Monday 3:20pm

John Oliver Should Win a Pulitzer for This All-Dog SCOTUS Reenactment

The august fogies of the United States Supreme Court refuse to allow cameras in their hallowed chamber of justice. And so Americans must settle for mere audio clips, which are generally paired with weird, boring courtroom illustrations for snooze-worthy television coverage. Well, John Oliver and Last Week Tonight » 10/20/14 9:30am Monday 9:30am

Here's a Cat Just Losing His Shit Over a Pile of Leaves

Autumn leaves, man. Already they are raining down upon America's yards and driveways and streets and porches. Don't worry, though—our pets are making sure those crumpled veggie solar panels don't mount some sort of uprising. For instance this cat, via Tastefully Offensive, who is waging a singlehanded war on this… » 10/17/14 8:00pm Friday 8:00pm